Every marriage, not just some marriages, but EVERY marriage has some sort of marriage problems that couples have to cope with. Generally they are small troubles that can easily be taken care of if the couple will accept the troubles and work them out.

Here is some typical relationship troubles that most couples face that should never lead to the end of a marriage.

House work differences: I have seen numerous couples who have major marriage challenges that root from a very simple difference about who should be doing what at home. Yard work, trash, painting, and maintenance are generally thought of as “a man’s job” but it doesn’t necessarily have to be that way. Also cooking, cleaning, shopping, and taking care of the kids are considered the “woman’s work”, but again, that is not written in stone. Unquestionably there are items that each person does better or is more able to do than the other, but that doesn’t mean that person can’t do one of the other duties not “specified” for their sex. If this becomes an issue, you should sit down and talk about it and decide who will do what, if that’s the only way you can settle it. However, I’ve always thought the greatest idea to go by is “if it needs to be done, just do it”; don’t wait for the “expected” individual to do it.

Trust Issues: It’s important to remember that even though you are a married couple you are still two individual people with your own interests and friends. Just because you are married doesn’t mean you have to stop living. You should not have issues about your partner spending time with friends outside of your house. Lack of trust will lead to doubt and suspicion will lead to an unhappy marriage. Even after being married for awhile you may still be amazed about stuff you learn about your partner. You might want to check out, “1000 Questions for Couples” to help you find out about your spouse you might not by now know.

Feeling trapped: This is a very classic reaction for couples when they start out as being married; the happy-go-lucky existence of being solo has been changed with household tasks and house work, and a partner you think you have to answer to. These kinds of senses can lead to bitterness and spirited debates. It’s all about setting up your standing within the marriage and how you fit it outside the house. It can be particularly tricky for youthful couples who might be the earliest of their friends to get married. If this concern is not addressed and dealt with quickly, it can produce more serious marriage troubles . If you want to save your marriage and get passed these feelings of being trapped, I highly suggest you read “Mastery Guide to Saving Your Marriage & Stopping Your Divorce” for some very helpful suggestions about how to get passed this rough spot in your marriage.

Nit-picking: These are those small disagreements that get blown out of proportion and lead to larger and deeper arguments. The main concern here is with pride because neither partner wants to give up first and apologize. I’ve seen lots of divorces come about as a result of a tiny difference that went over the edge. You have to learn to let go of your pride and understand that saying you’re sorry is a surprising event. Some people just don’t know how to say they’re sorry; when that occurs, often it is best to have couples read, “The Magic of Making Up” to educate them the fine art of forgiveness and saying they’re sorry. You know, some of the greatest romantic periods happen after an apology; don’t forget about that.

Marriage is all about give and take; it’s not about who is right and who is wrong. You’re both going to be incorrect at one time or another so keep in mind, if you’re pointing the finger of blame right now, it probably will put back on your sooner or later. You should be focusing on the good things and not spending so much on the petty stuff. You have a long way to go and just because you might see signs of marriage challenges, it doesn’t mean your marriage is ruined.

For the majority of marriages today, they are nothing at all like what you see on TV.  marriage takes a large amount of work and effort and if you aren’t completely committed to the process, you are on a fast track to failure. 

Too many people go into marriage feeling like it is painless to get out of if it doesn’t succeed.  That is the first error people make; they should be thinking about how to make their marriage survive and not how painless it is to get out of it if things get bumpy in their relationship.

The first year of a marriage can be particularly challenging.  You are getting used to being a married couple, which is quite different than just being a dating couple.  Even if you lived together before you got married, the situations of the relationship vary and likely can cause stress and strain on a marriage.  You will be learning new things about your spouse that you might not have known about before.  If that is the case, you might want to check out, “1000 Questions for Couples” for some very insightful questions you might want to ask.

Here are some helpful guidelines you can use if you think your marriage might be in trouble:

Talk: I can’t emphasize this enough; the most important thing you can do is talk to each other.  You are going to get on each other’s nerves and you will have marriage troubles; no doubt about it.  All those small petty things that really aren’t so awful will start to add up and can cause major problems down the road.  At the first sign of annoyance, start talking.

Don’t forget to keep on dating:  Just because you are married doesn’t mean you have to stop dating each other.  Too many couples get content in their relationships and begin to take each other for granted.  You have to continue to make each other feel wanted and appreciated; this is a major issue with a lot of couples.  One of the key reasons people feel like they are in a gloomy  marriage is because they don’t feel like their spouse wants or treasures them anymore.

Don’t involve family or friends:  When you have a difference, don’t go running to your family and friends and talk awful about your relationship challenges with them.  Instead of running to your family you need to be running to each other and talking to each other about your troubles.  You need to be learning the art of making up and how much that part of marriage is so crucial.  You can find some interesting ideas and guidelines by reading “The Magic of Making Up” to help you find the correct words to say at those rather difficult times.

Keep romance alive: There may be times when you can’t stand to look at your spouse’s face, but you have to remember, this is the person who you fell in love with and vowed to spend the rest of your life with.  There has to be something about him or her that you were drawn to so bear in mind what that is and reawaken the fire. 

Don’t give up so easily; marriage is a long term commitment and you have many years to work on it.  If you are having challenges and want to save your marriage, you have to work together to make it work.  For some ideas and assistance on saving your marriage, check out “Save My Marriage Today” for some useful thoughts and strategies. Your marriage won’t save itself; you have to be in control.