Resolved Question: Abusive husband is giving me the silent treatment for 2 weeks now, Why do I let him get to me?
Tuesday, July 31st, 2007My husband is emotionally abusive. I don’t know what to do. He “forgets” birthdays and Xmas, he is not interested in sex, won’t go to church, never laughs or jokes, explodes at me, cries at the drop of a hat, makes me look like bad guy with our 3 kids, works constantly at the office and at home, never helps at home, never pays any attention to our money situation, on vacation he is glued to his blackberry, sabotages every job I have so I fail by f*ing me up so I’m late and won’t let me hire a babysitter or use child care, is completely controlling, travels with little or no notice, and bad mouths me to his family. I have been telling him I want divorce. we have tried therapy many times and never worked b/c he didn’t show up or came late and lied. he will not let me leave the marriage. can’t rent an apt b/c i do not have job. family lives 3 hrs away. i’m so f*ed! please any help is appreciated! every family thing I plan he hates, too. i just want out.In the state in which I live, you need to be separated for one year to divorce. I cannot file for divorce yet!If I knew what I was doing wrong, I would fix it. He says he is “happy.” He does not want to separate. He does not know what he is not interested in sex. Says sex with me is the best he has ever had. Says he thinks he is getting old.Resolved Question: husband emotionally abusive what to do?
Do Americans believe that it is not healthy to be, at least for a while, sad, hurt, angry or confused when going through a divorce? Everything is not like TV, people.Talk to any therapist worth his salt and he will tell you that it is normal to feel these things and unless you are on Valium or some other happy pill, it is OK. Also, as a final note, has anyone come up with a phrase other than “Get over it.” That is overused and meaningless. Wlak a mile in my shoes, etc, etc. ( fill in your favorite)sheloves_dablues needs therapy if asking a question is “lashing out”marriage problem, AMERICANS SAY “GET THERAPY?”?” title=”Resolved Question: Why in any marriage problem, AMERICANS SAY “GET THERAPY?”?” >Resolved Question: Why in any marriage problem, AMERICANS SAY “GET THERAPY?”?
I am confused.I caught my husband cheating (text messages)with a coworker. We are separated. He suggests counselilng.We go. He calls me now and then. Its been 2 months. He sayshe does not want a divorce but is unsure of what to decide tostay or leave. Takes a $7000 off from his retirement accountand does not tell me and pays the bills to help me out andof course himself,too. He never wanted to touch this. I believe therapy and paying the bills is a good sign. I believe undecided is kind of strange, yet he sayshe wants to make sure this doesnt happen again and thathe has issues to work out with himself, and that he wants tomake sure if he is happy or not either by himself or in ourmarriage. He needs time. Is he stringing me along becauseof guilt or is he being serious and wants to be ready to makeit work or to leave if he thinks its for the best. He did changehis postal address and his bank account. He did call the otherwomen to end it. What’s going on?Voting Question: Mixed signals?
Four months since i saw her,divorced as of two weeks ago.Im 44 and feel like my life has hit a brick wall.So much regret and shame for not being the man and husband i was capable of being.I had blinders on throughout our two year marriage.She just can’t open up and give it another try.Just one more chance,but it won’t come and i feel so sorry for her and myself,because i am to blame for losing her.I know this will haunt me forever,i am convinced of it.Letting go is not possible,as much as i know its nessesary,i can’t stop thinking of what could have been.I have been to therapy and doctors.But in the end it all comes back to this feeling of guilt and shame and rejection.I pray for it to end,i pray for piece but it gets worse everyday..This dark could is hanging over me and my soul.Resolved Question: Getting harder everyday?
